“Okay, Chuami. Text me the address and I’ll be there as soon as I can! But… I hope you know, everyone is going to yell at me for enabling you again. It’s getting a little… oh– so, you were on a date, then, weren’t you–?! Was the hot dog guy cute? Are you going out again–?!”
“Uh–?! Yuna, you know I don’t do – dating. Ugh, dirty, dirty word. You start dating someone, then they wanna start hangin out all the time and before you know it, you have no time left for yourself, you’re just pickin’ out furniture at Ikea and talkin’ about meeting his parents. Gross. Speaking of parents, how is your dad these days?”
[text] I know itâs 3am, but come over and cook for me.Â
[text] Too lazy to booty call, so have this text instead
[text] Need to bury a body, itâs urgent.
[text] Are you sure thereâs no monsters?
[text] It was an accident.
[text] lol fuk da police
[text] send me a picture and iâll be home quicker 😉
[text] DO NOT READ THE LAST MESSAGE IT WASNâT MEANT FOR YOU
[text] Well maybe I broke my tongue!
[text] Please tell me youâre free today! Iâve got some big news today.
[text] Got a spare ticket, do you want to come?
[text] Do you have a spare mankini I can borrow?
[text] Is fancy dress allowed at the wedding?
[text] I was using my old baby blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
[text] We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead⦠I just rolled off and tapped out.Â
[text] Like alphabetically, Iâd say a t?
[text]Â Iâm sorry if throwing up in the back of your dadâs car ruined our friendship 😦
[text]Â there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night singing karaoke and drink out of juice cartons. donât judge me.
[text]Â I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesnât need it today.
[text] Do you know where I am?
[text] My wedding is in 5 hours and I have no idea where I am. Help!
[text]Â We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would get a piggy back ride home. Iâve never been so broken.
[text]Â Is âhead down ass upâ an appropriate way to say good morning?
[text] That is definitely not healthy, in fact Iâm not sure itâs legal to send that sort of picture?
[text] There isnât enough cookie dough ice cream at home, so Iâll be heartbroken tomorrow instead.
[text] Not sure if I took a nap or went to another dimension
[text] ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! HE IS A TRIPLET, WE DONT NEED TO FIGHT OVER HIM WE CAN HAVE AN ORGY INSTEAD
[text] No no donât leave me, whoâs going to walk me home
[text] She wheeled me home in a trolley and sad she loved me, I think I win.
[text] My dick just got serenaded.
[text] I ate the whole wheel of cheese. Help.
[text] Iâve been hiding under the bed for the past 20 minutes, and now theyâre getting into it and itâs a little too late for me to jump out and surprise them. So expect a live sex updates
[text] The fridge is fully stocked. Iâm either hallucinating or this is a miracle
[text] I need you to help me clean the house because I have visitors in less than an hour???
[text] Your brother is at the front door- WHAT DO I SAY?!
[text] Itâs all fun and games till someone says youâre so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you
[text] Iâm in A&E but I donât really know why
[text] Went to bed with a 10, just about woke up with a 2 and a half
[text] I think Iâm officially a homewrecker because his wife just walked in screaming and he said itâs not what it looks like. I mean what else could it look like? I wasnât trimming his hairs with my mouth?!
[text] My night ended with me crying in a gutter, I hate you.
[text] Heâs decorated the toilet with his urine. I never want to see him ever again, tell him he has 2 minutes to get out of our house.
[text] Donât talk to me! You tried to trade me for a glass of wine and a cigarette!
[text] I promise Iâll get everyone to jelly wrestle with us xox
[text] I am armed with a crown, a sash and a bouquet of flowers. Donât test me.
[text] I think I got married last night?
[text] I think I got married on impulse last night⦠and after looking a second time, I donât think iâve made any mistakes.
[text] My mouth tastes like poor choices
[text] I didnât let go of the mechanical bull, but they had to pull me off because⦠it was rough just the way I like it and I think that showed?
[text] If I say it was accidental youâll just say Iâm lying
[text] There is an alarming amount of glitter in my⦠everywhere
[text] Youâre my hero
[text] Youâre the worst thing to ever happen to me, thank you
[text] Have you ever had a good idea in your life?
[text] Are we going to end up in the hospital again?
[text] Itâs not a good night if I donât end up crying into your motherâs lap.
[text] Mark my words, your dad will be my sugar daddy, heâll marry me and youâll have to call me momma bear and I will interrupt your sex life with condoms and condiments.
[text] Iâm may be allergic to nuts, but not his.
[text] She high fived me out of pity
[text]Â You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
[text] You just walked in, rated their performance, dragged in three other people to clap for them, then walked back out.
[text] You kept calling me baby Jesus and trying to see what wise men had to say about my hairâ¦
[text] I am a responsible adult. I tied up my hair before I puked
[text] I am a responsible adult, I brought home a lost kitten and let it shit in your room
[text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?
[text] It may or may not have been your sisterâ¦
[text] It may or may not have been your brotherâ¦
[text] If youâre not coming over with food, donât come over at all
[text] Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My co-worker is talking to me about her birds having sex againâ¦
[text]Â IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
[text] Buy me a helicopter, I will give you the last slice of pizza. pls. this is important. okay maybe the crust?
[text]Â Letâs never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
[text] I tried to put lipstick on my eyeballs, help.
[text] I told her my cum counts as protein shake and she sent a text to my gran saying I ate her cat.
[text]Â If you donât fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute weâre alone in your room, Iâm returning you to the boyfriend store
[text] I accidentally sexted your mum, Iâm sorry xox
[text]Â There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
[text] I feel like youâre pretending I didnât bail you out of jail last night for trying to staple a cushion to the top of their car so you had a âcomfy place to sitâ
[text] You climbed the fence and then started crying because you were scared of hamsters, I really donât know what you took, but you need a babysitter.
[text] Â I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a âletâs fuckâ way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of âlet me wash your hairâ way.
Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY
“You’re totally welcome to call me Dawn Schweitzer, because I did make out with a hot dog, and it will only ever be that one time. Also, the mimes were so annoying. I don’t think they were even invited.”
“Chuami? Why are you calling from such an odd number? Please… tell me you don’t need gil for bail again…”
“Okay, hear me out – there were these mimes, and then I ran into some guy dressed as a hot dog and he was like man, I totally got stood up, so, long story short, I went to a stranger’s fancy dress party in my underwear because I didn’t have a costume so I went as Candace Swanepoel’s hotter sister and it wasn’t til I woke up in the hot tub that I realised I’m like… thirty miles away with no purse.
I consider this ship’s feelings: Mutual | Mixed | Strange | Awkward | Platonic | Sibling-like | One-sided | They don’t really like each other |
I’d consider the relationship: Healthy | Awkward | Abusive | Doesn’t work properly | They’d never get together |
Children:No | Yes | They’d think about it
General Opinion: Completely verse-dependent, but I think the two of them get on like sisters (complete with the obligatory fall outs and teasing). Chuami would be the “big sister” because Yevon help anyone who tried to mess with Yunie any further than she’d already freaking dealt with. Auron looked after her, she was basically family to him – so by extension, Chu has no problem seeing her the same way. I don’t know if they would ever have gotten to know each other very well if it weren’t for the connection Auron provides them with, but once Yuna gets past Chuami’s loudness and Chu gets past Yuna’s blinding purity, they’re actually kind of hilarious.
sovereignarchive 